RUSSIAN BLOG

We had 15 or so minutes to drop our luggage in our (nice!) Moscow hotel room before we were bussed to the ultra swank ass Ritz Carlton rooftop for cocktails. We got caught in a paparazzi storm at the entrance because an aging action star was making his exit. I had no idea that it was him when he passed.

We were there to shoot a spot for MTV Japan and a bit for Much Music Canada. We had a tray of flawless martinis (coffee, local berries, etc) between us. After I learned that they were forty clams each they tasted even better. I decided that as long as Smirnoff was paying for Russia everything would be just fine. I was quickly learning that Moscow was more expensive than Toronto, New York, London and Tokyo.

One of the most memorable nights in Moscow was when we went to Vodka Bar. Upon entering, I noticed the smell of kerosene or some other flammable substance. I didn’t know why I was smelling this; but figured that the place wasn’t too likely to go up in flames. But it did.

In the main room there was an elevated stage above the bars. On stage was a woman (less than five feet tall) and two bare-chested male space age aerobics workout dancers. The guys tossed her around and flipped her and did sexy dances and then suddenly the bar tender below spat fire at the stage and the whole parameter exploded with fire. I wasn’t standing far from the stage and could feel the wall of heat hit me. The flames would die down only to be re-lit during a particularly exciting bit of choreography or music. It was really well done. I’ve seen pyrotechnics in clubs before, but never to this extent.

We danced and got sweaty on a perfectly busy dance-floor, then sat in a reserved booth that was obviously occupied. There was champagne and roses on the table, which made me think that some big angry Russian guy was going slap me around. Unfortunately that’s not what happened. Instead, two really beautiful Russian ladies joined us, and after a moment of being confused by our presence they invited us to join them (which was great because we already had).

We didn’t stay out too late because we had the Smirnoff Experience event the next night. Unlike Vodka bar, which was pretty small, the Smirnoff event was huge. When we arrived there was a queue that stretched down the street. We got to go inside before the big crowd to do some filming and get a sense of the layout. There were a number of different spaces that had different features. Some spaces were for getting martinis, some for high tech club playthings, some spaces offered water, etc.

As the place filled up and the night unfolded the energy kept getting better. When Mark Ronson started spinning people went nuts. After his set Kelis performed - I’d say that this was probably the highlight for me. I’ve always liked her music. Earlier in the day some of the Ten ran into her in our hotel lobby. We did the whole picture-posing-smile-small-talk thing. Best moment in any lobby ever.

Last on stage was Faithless featuring a Russian orchestra. I'm not very familiar with Faithless so it was all pretty new to me. We had great vantage point to take in the performance. Steph and I managed to get into the artists area, which was a mezzanine directly above and along the stage and the main dance floor. In addition to the artists and their friends, there were Smirnoff people there too. It was a great opportunity to get to know the Canadian Smirnoff market person better. We chatted and Steph and I danced in spacious space but then something terrible happened...

I had to use the washroom BUT there was a line. Long, long line. Fortunately Steph was with me and helped resolve this possibly pant-peeing inducing situation. She talked our way to the artist’s dressing room area backstage. We got in, despite being the ONLY people without access passes and somehow we managed to wander around looking for a washroom without getting kicked out. Because Steph interviewed Mark Ronson earlier, she felt it would be best to use his toilet.

And I did. I also ate his mixed nuts and fruit tray.

He gave us beer before we left his room and we went back to the mezzanine. I was immediately attacked by a shaking finger belonging to my new Smirnoff Canada friend. But, after explaining that I was temporarily blinded by Ronson’s superstar DJ status she understood as well as she could and politely asked me to cover the label. I’ll never forget her beautiful mercy.

By the end of the night the entire Smirnoff Ten had gathered in the center of the main dance floor, covered in sweat and poured water to cool our raging disco fever. MTV Japan circled us like adorable sharks, capturing every fun and probably unflattering moment. I can’t wait to watch the DVD in slow motion.