To summarize the elimination week, I can only describe it as stressful – I completely lost my appetite. It was easy to forget what I had to offer and start doubting myself. I guess everyone at some point must have, but self-doubt and I are totally in love.
Fortunately I must have proved myself because I made it. It quieted the voice of familiar people back home predicting my return after the week. I remember when they announced the winner, because I had been prepping myself to not have a rejection meltdown in front of the camera, I had a bit of a non-reaction. I built up the stakes in my head (as they were in reality) to a height where good news or bad news would have made amazing TV ‘after the break’ teaser footage. So I did my best to prepare for a non-reaction. A safe option. I had no idea whether they would choose Wilder or I. Wilder, based on recent surveys, is the hottest person ever.
When I saw that moment on YouTube it was like watching someone else. Like someone that kind of looked like me, but this person was winning the best contest ever. I remember that millions of things were going through my mind, but in the video my face stays blank. Then Wilder and I hug and I’m smiling like I’m hugging Wilder or something…
The hours to follow were pure decompression. Everything gradually sunk in over a day or two. I called my family the day after I found out and they seemed a bit stunned themselves.
Now I’m packing for Russia. Russia’s always been somewhere I romanticized and never thought I’d have an opportunity to go to. Now it’s going to happen. Beyond my imagination. I’ve never considered marrying a corporation before, but I think I’ve finally met husband material. LOL. Sort of…
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